“he was someone I trusted, he was someone I knew. when I felt his hand up my shirt I couldn’t believe what was about to happen. I only froze.”



9 thoughts on “fifteen.”

    1. I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m sorry you live in a society where rape culture has clouded your ability to clearly understand what it’s like to be in such a helpless position. I don’t know you, but I believe I can say you are lucky to have never been on the victim side of a sexual assault. It’s appalling that you feel as though the freeze response (as in fight, flight or freeze) is the equivalent of a “yes.” Before you make such comments, consider a non sexual situation – if it were apparent someone wer about to mug you, do you think “on slap” would stop the assailant?


      1. You didn’t get me right. On one hand you say that you trusted him and on the other hand you didn’t even resist. I am not accusing you. I will also freeze when someone whom I trust, even abuses me with words. Freezing itself is not a sin or cowardice but an assault by your trustworthy hurts. It really brings very low feeling about oneself.


      2. Firstly, please take a moment to understand the content of this blog. These are not my stories.
        Secondly, I do think I got you right. The statements you’re making are nonsensical. You initially said trusting someone and freezing is consent. Now you’re saying you would also freeze if someone were to abuse you. Please clarify your argument.


    2. No, only “yes” means “yes”. No response does not mean “yes”. However, this is beside the point.

      The only person who knows if consent was given has stated that it was not. So clearly, you are incorrect. One might wonder why anyone would purport to know why someone else froze in such circumstances.


  1. When all of a sudden you come to know that whatever image you had established about your friend, your partner has been smashed, trust broken, it’s natural that you will freeze. The slapping comes next, when you come out if your self imposed slumber, that too when you don’t want to see that person again ir to tell him that you have broken the trust. If you don’t show your resistance, then it means your “yes”.
    It’s a nice blog, nicely described, but being a forensic scientist with 32 years experience, being skeptical of every situation is logical.
    Sorry, my comments were in light mood, not to hurt anybody.


    1. It’s disgusting how blinded by ignorance you are. I hope you never find yourself or someone you love in this situation so you don’t have to remember the horrific comments you made on this blog.


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