“Tonight my boyfriends ‘doctor’ friend grabbed my ass and spoke to me inappropriately in front of his wife. And maybe I shouldn’t have told my boyfriend this when we were drunk, but I also don’t deserve to get push into bushes, choked and hit in the mouth for something that happened to ME that I never wanted or asked for. This is why girls don’t talk about about things that happen to them. They get blamed. Told it’s their fault. Told they’re a liar, that it never happened. The one person I thought that loved me the most totally and completely gave up on me. I had to steal my dads girlfriends car in order to get all my stuff back from his house. I still let him sleep in my bed next to me even though it feels so wrong. Im laying in bed balling my eyes out and shaking because I’m so upset that I put my everything into a person and they so willingly just gave it up/could not give a fuck. He’s asleep and I’m wide awake shaking. But it was my fault and I’m lying. Okay.”
Month: October 2017
october 22
On August 25, about 2 months ago, the final written note from May was published. I was torn, torn because I wanted more but at the same time, I was grateful so many people spoke up when they did.
I check my email while I roll out of bed every morning, scrolling past bank statements, my amex account snapshot, change.org petitions, delta promotions, notes from my boss…etc. You get the picture. But one day I saw something different, a subject line “[Cupcakes on the Third Floor] get in touch or tell…” fading off my narrow cell phone screen. This came after a series of horrifying comments that left me feeling like it was time to call it quits.
Last night, while waiting for a friend to taste every vinegar in a little local shop that sells specialty balsamics and olive oils, I checked my email and saw another one, same subject line. I smiled because it validated my internal need to keep this going. Because there are still people out there using this as a platform to speak up and it’s not my place to take that away from anyone.
Cheers to all of you. Cheers to everyone making it through. I love all of you.
Cupcakes on the Third Floor 